One of the mistakes new submissives can make when becoming involved in the BDSM community is checking their brain at the door. Not because they are stupid, but because all they have to compare to is fantasy. In fantasy the submissive is (oftentimes) ruled by dominants, all of them. Whatever a dominant says to do the submissive does.
I'll admit, I find that pretty hot, but it's not at all practical, and even less safe. The kink community will be the first to tell a submissive to use their brain above all else. Why would you do what someone says just because that person labels themselves a dominant? You don't know the person's intentions, skill level, or moral compass.
Kinky people are not "better" than vanilla people. They're just people, and there are just as many assholes in this community as any other. In fact, online there may be more, because, unfortunately, it's known new submissives can be impressionable, and won't always tell a dominant to go fuck him/herself if need be. It makes those submissives vulnerable, and where there's vulnerability, there are predators. So the first rule of being a submissive is if you wouldn't let someone outside the kink community you don't trust do it to you, don't let someone inside the kink community you don't trust do it to you.
As I mentioned, this tends to happen more online than at actual munches or play parties. So if you stick with the local people it's rare you have a problem. The kink community is still small enough they tend to police themselves.
I don't want to be negative, but what BDSM deals with can be dangerous if you don't stay aware. Make friends and get to know people. There are absolutely some of the best people you'll ever meet in this community. Just make sure you do it in a safe way, so you can find the good ones.
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