But why?

So why does a husband want to give up control of part, if not all, of his life to his wife? Why would a caring friend want to inflict pain on someone else? Why does a young woman ask to be bound by rope until she can't move?

Why do you like pizza, or kissing, or reading? Why does anyone like anything, because it gives pleasure and/or meets a need.

The question is whether that need is being met, or pleasure given, in a healthy manner. I found myself coming at this in two different ways.

First, is everyone involved in the activity of legal age and mental clarity to give consent and has done so? If that is the case, then I do not have the right to tell them what they can or cannot do. They have every right to do what they feel is best for them as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Consent is one of the golden rules of BDSM everyone can agree is needed. How consent is defined is a different matter, but more on that at another time.

Second, my own personal experience, hearing other's experiences, and the odd scientific study. My choice to live as a submissive in a power exchange dynamic and, as a masochist, receiving specific kinds of pain, whether it is sexual or not, has only brought me peace and happiness. This is what I hear across the board from other kinksters. I am far more at peace with myself, and able to manage my life in a healthier manner than before.

To give an example, I enjoy being tied up. Not like the old Bugs Bunny cartoons, but intricately and purposely bound into an object of beauty. (See Shibari.) Enjoy is not even a big enough word. Life is busy. My mind is always going a thousand directions. Being bound brings me peace. While being tied I have no requirements placed on me other than to connect with the artist tying me. There is an energy flow between the one being transformed into art, and the one creating the art form.  It's intimate and it's powerful. The peace after being tied can last from hours to days. It is one of the most fulfilling and joyful acts I have ever participated in. Rope bondage as definitely improved my life.

For those with a scientific bend, this article explains better than I can about several studies done involving those who practice BDSM. Like any study I have read, there are arguments about different questions that should have been asked, or groups that should have been included. Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

I know my answers to date have been vague. Literally a book can, and probably has been, written on each topic I've mentioned. This entry would have to be thousands of words long just to scratch the surface. Once I get a few basic overviews onto the blog, I will go back and discuss each point in much more depth.

Until then, good morning and have a fantastic day.