Must be good to be King

(Apologies for the gendered nature of the post title, but the quote fit perfectly for today's topic. To be very clear, the title of dominant is genderless.)

So being in control and having someone else do what you say sounds like fun? It certainly can be, but it's also a lot of responsibility. The more control a dominant person takes, the more responsibility they incur.

For example, you want to take control of what your submissive eats? Now you need to decide what kind of outcome you want from their diet. Do you want them to gain weight, lose weight, cut out sugar, become vegan? Do they have health issues that you need to keep in mind? Do their likes or dislikes matter to you? Many dominants care about the well being of their submissive. So, in this example, they would choose ways to control their submissive's diet that lead to a healthier life for that person. Sometimes the dominant may not care about the submissive's health specifically, they may just want to simplify things and have the submissive eat whatever the dominants eats and likes.

Some people thrive on this kind of responsibility. They know they are good decision makers and find that making the decisions themselves is better than relying on someone else to. At the same time, being a submissive does not imply a person is incapable of making decisions. In fact, the submissive should be very sure of their decision making ability if they have chosen to enter into a TPE (total power exchange) relationship.

Being in a TPE relationship does not mean the submissive gives up making decisions. Like everything in BDSM, you do what works best for you and your partner(s). For example, a dominant may expect their submissive to run the household. The dominant will give expectations as to what they want the result to be, but it's up to the submissive to make decisions that keep the home functioning in that manner. Or perhaps the dominant does have an exact way they want the broccoli cooked, and an exact time for it to be on the table. Some dominants micromanage, some don't.

It's a common misconception that people who identifies as a submissives are meek and do what anyone tells them to. Since a submissive can be any type of person, I'm sure some are that way, but most of the time the choice to submit is made from a position of power.  The submissive chooses if, and who, they will submit to.

Every dominant is different, just as every submissive is different. They have different needs and goals from the relationship.  It is important both submissive and dominant make sure they are compatible before entering a TPE relationship. Just like a non TPE relationship. You would probably not choose to be with someone long term if they had different goals and priorities than you.